Hello everyone. I've finally felt the urge to take the time and get on a computer....
I'd just like to say that this past month has been nothing but beautiful. I'm now working at the B&B on the land, helping out on the weekends and cooking for guests, cutting and splitting firewood, making driveways and all sorts of wonderful things like that. I've also recently been working with a masterful stone mason-learning to cut and shape huge, beautiful pieces of stone and laying them out as patios, building and creating stairways, and a few months before, building a dry-stacked retaining wall in pasture out of flat river rocks. Last week we were at about 3000 feet laying stone at this rich guy's house in the mountains when we finally had our first real snow of the year. It was quite a sight to see it come in through the valley and kick our exposed, windward asses in a neato-hourglass kinda way.
The trees are all bare now and the air is crisp, clear, and frozen. This time of year is always so beautiful and rich. It's also quite introspective. I've been quite inward lately; it's cold as fuck out and sitting next to a fire or up in my attic loft wrapped in my sleeping bag and some blankets is a nice change from always being outside, working and playing. I find that I don't make time to be with myself nearly enough. Being present is so so important and easily overlooked when one thinks. Thinking, while having it's place, is so damn overrated. It's hard work, but simply being is totally worth it.
My dad is coming up in two weeks from today. It's gunna be cool to chill with him for a week up here. I can't wait for him to meet everyone and really check out community and applied permaculture design. I really hope he gets off on it. I think he'll really get a kick out this place. After that the old man and mountain hippie drive to the other side of the great state of north carolina and the other side of the universe to place called Camp Lejune (sp?), a huge ass Marine base, where we will be picking up my oh so patriotic and deadly marine of a little brother. On the day we get back, my other cool ass little brother will be arriving by aeroplane from chicago. A week of family fun and me running around central florida trying to catch up with everyone will ensue. Once again I can go to annie moore's and dave the irishman pull me the perfect pint of Guiness and to Nature's Finest, where Aaron, the surfer from oklahoma, will make me a smoothie.
Doug and Tony, the curry family, alexis, sarah and so many others that I miss will finally be near again. Hell yeah. Maybe I'll even go seek out Renee and see what's up with her jive turkey self.
oh yeah. I'd also like to say, in the same sentence, that I simultaniously love hashish and miss Ms. Amrasan.
Ayahuaska is the "vine of the soul", a sacred medicinal power plant, which grows in the Amazonian rainforest and is a natural psychotropic and hallucinogen. The shaman cooks this vine together with many other medicinal plants over many hours in water into a thick, brownish brew. The Quechua term of this drink "Ayahuaska" refers to the freeing of the spirit. The plants involved are truly plants of the Gods, for their telepathic powers is laid to supernatural forces residing in their tissues, and they were divine gifts to the earliest Indians on Earth.
To take Ayahuaska is to be purged and purified. It cleanses the mental, emotional and spiritual body. It reaches deep inside and removes the layers of debris which obscure the soul, opening up to the possibility of accessing psychic powers, journeying into the past, present and future, and reconnecting with our soul essence. It has a spirit, and in the eye of a shaman, it is a powerful doctor and great medicine and the Ayahuaska ceremony a magical gift of the Gods!
Man....I'm totally being dissed and it fucking sucks. What is Renee's problam? Why will she not communicate with me? Fuck the whole being broke up thang, she owes me fucking money and is, for whatever reason, totally ignoring every bit of communication that I throw out. I'm not even being mean, I just want to know what's up with her telling me she's going to do something and then going incommunicado on me, changing her email addy, and not even telling me what's going on.
I really think at this point it's me feeling a bit hurt and taken advantage of by a girl who I was in love with and gave all my trust to for like two years or something. Where is the mother 'effin integrety? I hope to hell that she ain't going around acting honest and all that. I straight up dated a fucking lier and it really hurts.
october 6, she writes:
"Yea, I should be able to send out some $$ tomarrow, as my last paycheck was pathetic (I had been out of town, hence the small amount of $100). I'm sorry to hear your misfortunes concerning Steve and Sarah, but c'est la vie, I suppose."
Yeah......she wrote this shit on the 6th of the month and said it would be sent "tomorrow". That would have been the 7th. It would have gotten here quite a while ago. I'm two states away, not in fucking Uzbeakestan or something.
I need some help here. I'm feeling a bit frustrated and taken advantage of.
Bluegrass is downright sexy. And I want some goats. That is all.
how odd...I thought I was posting in the no undies community. Oh well....
I would just like to say that I have not been wearing underwear since at least 2002, and spurradically not before that.
Now when I say that, I don't mean I do it dogmatically. I live in a tent, in the Blue Ridge Mountains, and it's getting a bit chilly. Longjons don't count, damnit.
Thank you, and I look forward to a long and naked relationship with you all.
With all this technology for communicating with people around the world, it seems that alot of folks still fail to be present and aware of the fact that telling people things such as, "oh, I wasn't able to send off the money I owe you today like I said I would because of blah blah blah" is really a kind thing to do. I sure don't like being kept in the dark over things like that. And I'm sure she can access a computer, if not at home, at school or a friend's place.
So twice through email, Renee has said she would send me money. The first time it was cool.... but again? And just like it was when we were dating, she forgets the crucial communication thang. TELL ME IF IT'S NOT COMING!!!! And wait, I think I tried asking her but what happened? Oh yea..she changed her email without telling me. What the fuck. I mean I'm all for being cool and friendly but this shit is rediculous. Fucking pay someone when you owe them money or don't borrow it in the first place.
And steve and sarah are just totally fucked. Live in my apartment for two or three months and than just up and fucking leave without paying rent, getting my place taken away, WHILE I'm out of town. I'm so fucking over this shit. First renee leaves me high and dry with no roommate, STILL owing me money, and than steve and sarah turn out to be total fucking lazy-ass potheads who were always "looking for a job". How much $$ they put me under is only a guess. At least 700 bucks. I'm sick of this shit, and I'm sick of flakes.
I've got bills to pay, too.
on a better note, I have been picking up some basic work on some sites, mixing concrete here, painting a bit there. A little cash sure is gunna be nice!
There is something quite magical about driving through the mountains at night on the way to a bluegrass show. Even better with a fiddle player warming up in the back seat and the sweet smell of ganja trickling out the cracked windows and into the fall air. We even ran into my aunt and uncle, which was really fun. Gus got Robin and I drunk and we talked about salvaging a bunch of building materials from the Black Mountain house with a pickup the day after, which we did. Next week we're going back for a bunch of firewood. All this while the Greasy Beans played some rowdy, sweet bluegrass.
We've been having the most beautiful weather. Crisp clean days in the sixtys and clear moonlit nights in the 40s with fog in the mornings. Tonight there might even be a frost. This morning I woke up with a small bird looking down at me from benieth my rainflap. I guess my tent's just coziest scene in the forest!